Katak Jakun vs King Joker — The Ultimate Showdown.
In an unprecedented twist of political theater, Khairy Jamaluddin, Malaysia’s Minister of Health and part-time crisis cosplayer, was seen arguing with himself at a press conference last week—while wearing the same shirt.
Eyewitnesses were baffled as two distinct personas emerged during the briefing:
KJ1: Calm, rational, lightly caffeinated. Declared that “Hospitalizations are down, Omicron is mild, and the situation is under control.”
KJ2: Aggressive, twitchy, heavily boosted. Warned that “Anyone not triple-poked by March 31st will lose their vaccinated status and possibly their right to order Grab.”
KJ1 (the good one) lost this round.
The debate turned heated when KJ1 accused KJ2 of being “the Dajjal”, referring to the Islamic equivalent of the Antichrist and endgame boss in religious lore.
Witnesses say KJ2 snapped, leapt over the podium with the agility of a pharma-fueled maniac, and delivered a clean undercut that knocked KJ1 out cold—thus ending the press conference and temporarily silencing logic.
💉 The Split Continues
Political analysts believe the two Khairys represent the schism between public health responsibility and pharmaceutical sales quota obligations.
“It’s like Jekyll and Hyde, but sponsored by Pfizer,” said one commentator.
Sources close to the ministry say negotiations are ongoing to merge the two Khairys into a single, slightly less confused entity using a fourth booster and mild hypnosis.
